


5+1 Kuroo + Kenma

by etherrealowl



Series: Love Me Series [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5+1 Things, Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, How Do I Tag, Light Angst, M/M, No Spoilers, Not Beta Read, Slow Burn, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29066763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etherrealowl/pseuds/etherrealowl
Summary: 5 times Kenma and Kuroo try to confess to each other and the 1 time they doIT'S OFFICIALLY A SERIES BECAUSE Y'ALL ARE BEAUTIFUL. Hit me up via my email, or find me on discord if you want to talk!EMAIL: etherrealowl@gmail.comDISCORD: etherrealowl#7936TUMBLR: https://etherrealowl.tumblr.com/
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: Love Me Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2151585
Comments: 17
Kudos: 58





	5+1 Kuroo + Kenma

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, first fanfic on the site. Go easy on me. Comments appreciated. 
> 
> -ignore my formatting I'm trash at formatting and understanding how to format on this site was making my brain bleed, if it bothers you, see the google doc version here:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1n644scxHla9JYg6piN1CBsYFZhirhJBiLzoA46Dnmrs/edit?usp=sharing
> 
> Not beta read - AM LOOKING FOR A BETA/COWRITER/SOMEONE TO BOUNCE IDEAS OFF OF FOR THE SERIES

1.

**KENMA POV**

“Kenma!” My mother called up to me in my room, a smile in her voice. “Kuroo’s here!”

I saved my single player game wordlessly, switching over to our favorite two-player fighting game, preparing for Kuro to come and sit with him and play games. We had been doing it pretty much since Kuro moved in next door. I heard my mother softly tell Kuroo to go upstairs, heard Kuroo’s footsteps padding up the stairs slowly. I looked over as Kuroo pushed open the door to my room with a small, shy smile and shut the door behind him. He sat down beside me without a word, picking up his controller, and started playing their game together. I would never tell Kuroo this, but I looked forward to their afternoons together. I always looked forward to the time I got to spend with Kuroo in my room, in the quiet, just the two of us in our own little world. I’ve lost count of the number of times this week I’ve wanted to ask Kuroo if his heart beat funny every time we sat together, too. But every single time I went to ask him, I would flush instead, wondering if it was even a question I should be asking.

Almost every time I turned to Kuroo to ask him, wanting to see his face when I asked so I would know what Kuroo was thinking, I would find Kuroo already looking at me. And when Kuroo looked at me, I lost all of my nerve, because I had no idea what expression Kuroo was giving me, but knew it meant something that I didn’t think I would ever understand. 

I worried one day Kuroo might not look at me like that anymore, and it made my stomach upset to think about, so I stopped thinking about it with a frown and a harder jab at the buttons on my controller. After an hour of playing games together, I finally got the nerve to pause the game, my thoughts buzzing around my head too distracting to keep up our game. Kuroo looked at me curiously, wondering what was wrong, but always going along with whatever I wanted. That’s how it always went, from the moment we met. I would pull out a game for us to play, and we would play until Kuroo got too tired to play, and I would wordlessly switch to a single player game to give Kuroo time to rest. 

“I-” I started, my voice shaking, my throat tight. I frowned, looking down, my hair falling across my cheeks to close my line of sight. It always calmed me to see less, to have less people be able to see me, to fade to the background. But I could never fade to the background with Kuroo.

“What’s wrong, Kenma?” Kuroo asked, concern on his face instead of the curiosity he had before. It made my stomach twist uncomfortably, and my hands started to shake around the controller I still held like a lifeline. I took a deep breath, built up my resolve, and spat out the question as fast as I could.

“Is there something else you want to do today?”

It must have made sense to Kuroo, because when I looked up from my hiding place in my hair, I saw Kuroo’s lips split in a bright smile that made my heart beat too fast in my chest.

“YES!” Kuroo shouted out, standing quickly, his controller quickly forgotten on the floor of my bedroom as he darted towards the door.

I felt tears prick at my eyes, wondering if this was when Kuroo finally realized he didn’t want to hang out with me anymore, but Kuroo seemed to know what I was thinking, and stopped with his hand on the door. Kuroo always knew what I was thinking.

“I’m just going to go get a volleyball for us to play with from my room.” He turned back to me with a soft smile on his face. “I’ll be right back, okay, Kenma?”

I nodded back in response, my heart in my throat, a wobbly smile on my face. Even if I couldn’t ask Kuroo if he felt his heart beat funny when he saw me, I could at least make him happy. Maybe that would be enough for Kuroo to never leave him behind.

**TETSURO POV**

I rushed down the stairs of the Kozume house as fast as I could, slipping my shoes back on to sprint the short distance to my own home, rushing to my room to get my volleyball. I didn’t want to make Kenma wait any longer than I absolutely had to. Kenma looked so scared when I got up to leave that I didn’t want to make him worry anymore. I knew Kenma was worried that I would one day leave him behind, one day not want to spend all of my free time with him, but it would never happen. Kenma is my best friend. He’s my favorite person. 

I know Kenma is nervous around other people, and some people call him weird, but he isn’t weird to me. I understand everything about him. Why he is so nervous around people, why he hides behind his hair, why he prefers video games to people. I hate it when people tease him, and I hate it when people say I shouldn’t be friends with him. I know it bothers him more than he will ever tell me, but I try to brush it off. As long as I never leave him behind, it won’t matter what everyone else says. Kenma is my best friend, and nothing is going to change that.

By the time I get back to his room, I can tell Kenma has calmed down a little, but isn’t fully relaxed. I smile at him and reach out a hand towards him to help him up. My heart speeds up a little at the small smile he offers me in thanks, following me back downstairs and out the backdoor. Kenma’s mom waves us off when we tell her we are going to go play outside, looking a little shocked, but pleased. I know she thinks Kenma doesn’t get outside enough, and I don’t want her to worry. Kenma’s mom is always so nice to me, much nicer than my own mom was.

“Kuro?” Kenma asks, and I fight to keep my heart under control, nervous energy all over me. That stupid nickname always made my heart stutter in my chest and feel so calm at the same time, like everything was right in the world.

“Yeah?”

“How do you play volleyball?”

I smile back at him, so excited to show him, and spend the next few hours until the sun starts to go down teaching him how to receive. He does it terribly, the ball going everywhere, but so do I. We laugh and practice and do our best, but we both know we aren’t that great at it. Our arms are covered in angry bruises, and Kenma’s mom frowns down at us when we walk back into the house, dirty and sweaty and smiling bright.

“Did you boys hurt yourselves?” She asks, concerned. I smile at her and look over at Kenma.

“Just a little internal bleeding. Right, Kenma?”

Kenma frowns at me, kicking off his shoes, and walking up to the bathroom to clean up. 

“Kuro, you owe me apple pie.”

I can’t help but smile after him and laugh. I might never be able to ask him if it’s true for him, but today just proved it to me. Kenma is my favorite person. And I want to be his favorite person, too.

2.

**KENMA POV**

Kuro is about to start at a whole new school. He’s leaving me behind, leaving our middle school behind, and it isn’t fair. He’s going further away, to Nekoma, and I’m stuck here alone. I’ve spent the past hour and a half in my room crying, not even wanting to touch my games. The sight of our favorites games strewn over my desk makes me just cry harder. I thought I would have more time with him as my best friend. But it’s all going to change. He’s really going to leave me behind this time.

And why shouldn’t he? He’s going to Nekoma High School. He will join their volleyball team, and he will do amazing things, and everyone will see just how cool he is. It won’t matter that he’s a total science nerd and can recite all the noble gasses and makes the worst chemistry jokes at the worst possible times. His new friends will love it just the same way that I do, and they will care about him just the same way that I do.

We won’t share naps in my room after school while we wait for my mom to make us dinner because his dad and grandparents aren’t home again. We won’t have sleepovers all weekend anymore, because he will have new, better friends. Friends that are good at volleyball. Friends that don’t mind running with him first thing in the mornings to keep up their stamina. Friends that don’t mind being covered in bruises and having jammed fingers and who won’t mind going out on the weekends to do what Kuro wants to do.

I just want to be left alone. I haven’t spoken to Kuro in three days, avoiding him when he comes by, claiming to my mother that I just don’t feel well. She knows something is wrong, because being sick has never kept Kuro from me before, but she doesn’t pry. 

I don’t know how to tell her what I’m feeling. I don’t even know what I’m feeling. Why do I want to spend all of my free time with Kuro and only with Kuro? Why don’t I want him to find a new best friend? Why am I so scared of him leaving that I’m doing it first, to try and make it hurt less?

I can’t ask her this. I can’t ask Kuro, either.

I just need to suffer it. I’ve been alone before. I can do this.

But, _it hurts_.

~~~

It’s been five days of not talking to or seeing Kuro, and I feel like a shell of a person. I play my games all day, all night, barely sleep. My eyes are so sore they ache when I blink, and all I want to do is sleep, but when I sleep, my dreams haunt me with all of the things I can’t understand. Why do I care if Kuro plays volleyball with someone else? Why do I care if Kuro goes out to get pastries with someone else on a Saturday afternoon? Why do I care if Kuro goes to someone else’s room to nap and study after school every day?

I keep telling myself I don’t, but I know it’s a lie.

I want to talk to him, but I don’t know how to explain my five days of avoidance. Five days of Kuro trying to see me, and five days of my mother turning him away with a frown on her face and a shake of her head while I watch from the hall, tears in my eyes, not understanding my own feelings. 

My mother came to talk to me yesterday, concerned, but I didn’t even know what to tell her. She just nodded at me, told me it was okay, and held me while I cried. She said she knew what was wrong, and that she loved me anyway, and it would all make sense one day.

I wish she had explained to me why I felt this way, but she said it was something I had to understand on my own. I sigh to myself, pick my controller back up, and continue with another mind-numbing round of games. After I’m a few hours in, my eyes start to burn worse than normal, but I don’t stop. I don’t want to stop. Because if I stop, then I’ll have to face my problems. I wish they would all just go away.

“Kenma, if you don’t put that game down your eyes are going to fall out of your head.”

I drop the controller, my hands shaking of their own accord, my head snapping to look with wide eyes at Kuro. His eyes are soft, concerned, but he has that same signature Kuroo Tetsuro smirk on his face. I don’t know which one is real at this point.

“Kuro.” Is all I can say, my hands shaking so hard they hurt, tears pricking at my eyes. I blink rapidly, trying to make it stop, but they don’t. Kuro makes a noise at the sight, a noise I only heard when I hurt myself playing volleyball, and he’s across the room and at my side in a blink. He frowns down at me, and pulls me into a hug, and I want to scream. “Kuro, why are you here?”

“Because you’re my best friend, Kenma. I’ll always be here. No matter what you say, no matter what you do, I’m never leaving you behind. I’ll wait for you, Kenma. As long as you need me to.”

I don’t know what he means. I don’t know what he’s talking about. All I do know is that he holds me for what seems like eternity, just us tangled together on the floor of my bedroom, his hands in my hair, and it feels right. Everything always feels right when Kuro is with me. I just wish I had the courage to ask him if it’s the same for him.

**TETSURO POV**

I’ve come to the Kozume household every day for the past four days so far, a frown on my face when I’m turned away each time, my heart a little heavy. I know Kenma isn’t sick. I can see his lights on in his room when I jog past his house on my runs. I’ve been running a lot more lately, and not just to build stamina. It’s my only way of checking on him. He won’t answer me, won’t let me come see him, won’t tell me he’s okay. The only way I know he’s still alive is his mother turning me away each day, and seeing the light on in his room.

He’s been avoiding me ever since the end of the school year. I don’t know why he’s so worried about me leaving for Nekoma. Nothing has to change. Nothing is going to change. But I can’t tell him this, because he won’t see me. So, instead, I have to tell myself this each and every day. I knew this would happen, dreaded it happening, but prepared for it. I always have a plan.

It’s day five that something finally changes. Instead of asking to come in, I just frown at Kenma’s mother, and tell her what I’m thinking. At least, I plan to. But she doesn’t give me the chance.

“You know why he’s avoiding you, don’t you, Tetsuro-kun?”

I search her eyes for a moment, then look down at my feet, nodding.

“Yes.” I take a breath, then look back up at her. “But he doesn’t know why. And I’m not going to tell him. I’ll wait for him, just like I always do.”

She smiles at me softly, and I find myself thinking again how much I would have loved to have a mother so kind and understanding as her. It must show on my face, because she pulls me into a light hug, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

“I’m so happy Kenma has you, sweetheart. Go on upstairs. Try to talk to him, okay?”

I nod my thanks, stacking my shoes in the entryway, walking up the stairs to his room as quietly as I can. I’ve never been so thankful for being so light on my feet. Kenma’s mom must have expected this to happen today, because Kenma’s door is propped open just enough that I can slip inside without disturbing him.

The sight I see brings some tears to my eyes, and I take a breath to try and calm myself down. He’s sitting in front of his game, shoulders hunched, his eyes bloodshot and angry. I take another breath, then another, until I feel calm enough to speak. I make sure to put my infamous smirk to try and cover my feelings enough that Kenma won’t see them, then finally open my mouth.

“Kenma, if you don’t put that game down your eyes are going to fall out of your head.”

He drops the controller and turns to look at me so fast it nearly startles the smirk off my face. He looks even worse facing me. It hurts to just look at him like this, how upset he looks, how tired he looks.

“Kuro,” He starts, that damn nickname choking me on my next breath, and then he’s in my arms and I’m petting his head and he’s crying into my shoulder silently. “Kuro, why are you here?”

“Because you’re my best friend, Kenma. I’ll always be here. No matter what you say, no matter what you do, I’m never leaving you behind. I’ll wait for you, Kenma. As long as you need me to.”

I mean each and every word, more than he will understand for a long, long time. But they come tumbling out of my mouth, one after another, and I don’t have the strength to hold them back. Not now. Not with Kenma in my arms, shaking slightly, his silent sobs wracking his little body. I just hold him as tight as I can, tangled together on the floor of his bedroom, and do my best to show him I’m not leaving. I’ll never leave him.

~~~~

The first day of school comes around faster than either of us want it to, and I’m secretly dreading it, but I put on a brave face for Kenma. If I’m okay, if I show it’s okay, then maybe it will be. I walk Kenma to his middle school, leaving him at his school with a bright smile and a quick “Have a good day!” tossed over my shoulder as I rush over to my first day of High School, and everything feels right.

School goes by in a blur, volleyball practices goes by in a blur, and everything aches in the best way. The practice was hard, but it felt good, and I am so excited for next year already. Next year, when Kenma is on the team with me, by my side again.

I leave the club room with a stupid smile on my face, so happy at the thought of having Kenma with me next year that the other team members gently rib at me about it. I roll my eyes at them, brushing them off, starting to walk away and walk back home.

But then I see Kenma, sitting on the bench outside of the gym, PSP in his hands and one of my sweatshirts covering him. My heart skips a beat, and I stop in my tracks, taking a moment to catch my breath. A few of the other team members share a look, but I ignore them, instead walking towards Kenma.

“Hey, Kitten.”

I nearly trip over my own feet as I hear the snickers behind me from my team. Why did I say that? I’ve never said that before. Not once have I ever called him that anywhere but in my dreams.

“Hey, Kuro.” Kenma replies, voice as even as ever, though I can tell from the set of his shoulders that he’s blushing. I let my signature smirk tilt the side of my face as I plop down onto the bench next to him. “Ready to go?”

Instead of answering, I take his arm, standing us both up from the bench without having him look up from his game. I put his bag on my shoulder along with my own and walked us toward our train home with a bright smile on my face. I know my team is going to rib me even harder tomorrow, but at this point, I don’t think I could care. If Kenma is by my side, I don’t think I could ever care.

3.

**KENMA POV**

I’m lost. Beyond lost. But I know that Kuro will find me eventually, he always does. Which is why I’m not concerned when a boy with shockingly orange hair wearing a Karasuno shirt stops to talk to me. I shock myself by even talking back, happy to talk to this little ball of sunshine and happiness while I wait for Kuro. I don’t know what it is about this boy, but he’s got my attention. Not the way Kuro holds my attention, though. I don’t want to stare at him for hours, don’t want to listen to him for hours, but it’s still nice to talk to him. He’s a little too hyper, but he tells me about his team, and I tell him about mine. He seems to be just a little bit too hyperactive and short for a High School student, but he seems okay enough to me.

As he talks, I wonder silently where Kuro is. He seems like a nice guy, one I might want to be friends with eventually, but I miss Kuro when he isn’t by my side. I don’t understand it, but the past two years together has only made us closer.

I was so scared when Kuro went to High School that we would never spend time together, never take naps together, never study together, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Kuro spent every afternoon with me. He studied with me and helped me with my homework. I went to all of his games that were nearby, smiling from the bleachers, and he would throw smirks and laughs up at me whenever he got a chance. We would walk to and from school every day together, and on the weekends, we still spent all of our time together practicing volleyball.

The summer before High School, he made me practice all summer with him. We practiced hard, and it was really annoying being tired all the time, but he made it up for it by drying my hair for me and giving me apple pies. 

He even baked me a fresh apple pie the day I dyed my hair blonde. He claimed it was for me being brave enough to do something on my own, but my mom gave me a look that made me doubt what he was saying.

“Oi, Kenma!”

My heart stutters in my chest, and I look up with a smile, seeing Kuro waving to me from up the block.

“See you, Shoyo.” I call over my shoulder, following Kuro away from the hyperactive first year, a small smile on my lips.

“Who was that?” Kuro asks, his voice tight, his smirk nowhere to be seen. It sounds off, like he’s upset, but he would tell me if he was upset, wouldn’t he?

“A first year from Karasuno. He says he’s a middle blocker.”

“How do you know him?”

And there’s the same tightness, and I frown. I don’t like the way it’s making my heart tight to hear Kuro sound upset.

“He ran into me while I was lost, waiting for you to find me.” I tell Kuro, watching his face out of the corner of my eye, but he doesn’t say anything.

“You actually talked to him.” Kuro whispers, a frown turning down his lips, and I feel my heart tightening even more.

“He talked to me, and I talked back.” I correct, reaching out for Kuro’s hand, sliding my fingers against his. Kuro makes a noise in the back of his throat, looking down at me with big eyes full of questions, but I turn my head from him before he can see the blush on my cheeks. I’ve never held his hand before. Usually Kuro steers me by my shoulders, or I hold onto the bottom of his sweater.

I think I like holding his hand. I want to ask Kuro if seeing me upset makes him upset, too, but I don’t know how to find the right words. Instead, I just tighten my fingers around his, letting him lead us back to the rest of our team, frowning at myself for being a coward yet again.

**TETSURO POV**

I sigh deeply, turning down yet another street, berating myself for losing Kenma. I know I’ll find him, I always find him, but the minutes it takes to find him are the longest of my life. I swear, one of these days, losing him is going to kill me. I know exactly how I’m going to find him, which frustrates me even more. He will be sitting alone somewhere, his nose in his game, just waiting for me to find him.

Except he’s not.

He’s paying attention, talking to some shrimpy kid with offensively orange hair and is TALKING TO SOMEONE. He’s TALKING.

Something in my heart cracks a little, and I have to take a deep breath to steady myself, reminding myself that I can’t always be his only friend that he actually looks up from his game for. I can’t always be the only one. 

But I wish I was.

I’ve been in love with Kenma since I understood what love was, and he has absolutely no idea.

“Oi, Kenma!”

I praise myself for my voice not cracking as Kenma stands from where he is sitting, walking towards me with a small smile on his face.

“See you, Shoyo.” He calls over his shoulder, and I fight back a scowl as Kenma falls into step next to me.

“Who was that?” I ask, my voice tight, my smirk nowhere to be seen. I know it sounds off, like I’m mad, but christ, I am. _I’m jealous_.

“A first year from Karasuno. He says he’s a middle blocker.”

“How do you know him?”

I curse my emotions for the fifth time today, cursing being in love with my best friend, cursing his blindness to my emotions. I think about confessing, just getting it over with, just telling him the truth. But I meant what I said to his mother. I won’t push him. I’ll wait for him to be ready. Or I’ll confess at my graduation. Either way, I know I can’t confess now.

“He ran into me while I was lost, waiting for you to find me.” He tells me, and I can’t help but frown.

“You actually talked to him.” I whisper, not even sure why I’m bothering to continue the conversation. Because I want to hear his voice that badly, even though it hurts? _God_ , I’m _pathetic_. Yaku’s right. I’m so far gone.

“He talked to me, and I talked back.” Kenma corrects, sliding his hand into mine, and I look down at him in shock. I fight back a groan, unsure how I can be so happy and confused at the same time. I want to ask what he’s doing, but I don’t want him to pull away. Kenma turns his head from me, but not before I catch the slight pink tinge to his cheeks and the tips of his ears. He’s never held my hand before, but now that I know he’s willing, I’m going to make sure to do it as much as I can.

I’ll take what I can get. Because no matter what everyone else thinks, I’m never going to leave Kenma behind. Even if he never loves me. Even if he falls in love with someone else, like that shrimpy orange kid. I will always stay by his side.

But _christ_ , it hurts so much.

4.

**KENMA POV**

It’s time for all of the practice matches in our week of training camp, and I sleep next to Kuro every night, though we don’t sleep on the same futon. It feels nice, and at the same time, not nice at all. Kuro is always busy, always doing something, always at extra practices with Bokuto and Akaashi, and while I don’t mind Bokuto and Akaashi, I hate the guy from Karasuno who Kuro has taken a shine to.

Tsukishima Kei.

Just the thought of his name makes my nose scrunch up at my breakfast, one of the only times Kuro and I have a moment together, and he looks at me with questions in his eyes. I don’t look back, focused on my rice, fighting down the jealousy. Why am I even jealous?

I don’t care when Kuro spends time with Bokuto and Akaashi. 

So why do I care if he spends time with the blond first year from Karasuno?

I want to ask Kuro, but I know I can’t. I don’t want to hear his answer about chemical makeups and some people just not making sense together. That some people just don’t get along, and that’s okay. Like me and Lev. It’s okay to not get along with everyone.

Because I know I hate Tsukishima, and I know it has nothing to do with chemistry. It has everything to do with the way he looks at Kuro, even now, while we all sit together eating breakfast. He’s sitting next to a sweet boy with freckles and listening to him tell him a story, but he’s throwing glances at Kuro, and Kuro doesn’t even seem to notice. I glare back at the boy, but he doesn’t even seem to notice.

~~~

It’s the end of training camp, and we’re having a BBQ, and all I want to do is go home. I lean up against the gym, frowning down at my game, wanting to avoid everyone. Tsukishima is sitting nearby, his eyes on Kuro, his head tilted to his freckled friend as he listens to him talk. I just want to spike a ball into his head. I want to make him stop looking at Kuro.

Why do I care that he’s looking at Kuro so much?

I wish I could ask him if he feels the same jealousy in his stomach, but push the thought aside. Kuro doesn’t hide anything from me. If he was jealous, he would tell me.

Kuro comes by, a smile on his face, and I want to scream. He’s walking right towards Tsukishima, not me, and I want to cry. I go to turn away, hiding my face, but Kuro is by my side just a few moments later.

“Hey, Kitten.”

A few of the boys nearby do a double take, Tsukishima included, and I blush all the way to my ears, but Kuro has his signature Kuroo Tetsuro smirk, and I can’t tell if he’s being funny when he calls me this.

“Hey, Kuro.”

It seems the safest response, when all I want to do is punch him and go home and cry into my pillow because I don’t understand why I’m so jealous. I decide to passively blame Tsukishima for all of my problems, and send another glare his way as Kuro tries to force me to eat more vegetables with a small smile on his lips and fondness in his eyes.

**TETSURO POV**

I both love and hate training camps. I love them for the volleyball, for the late nights practicing with Bokuto and Akaashi, who I don’t get to see as much as I would like. I love them for all of the games, the laughter, the bonding with the team and getting to scout the other teams. 

I hate them because I have to watch Kenma lay onto a futon next to mine, instead of in the same one with me. If we were at home, we would be sleeping next to each other, wrapped up together all night.

I want to push him to come to our extra practices, even if all he does is just sit there. I just don’t want him to be alone.

A distraction comes in the form of a first year from Karasuno, and I take it easily. Even if I only convinced Bokuto to invite him to practice with us so I could get some information on the chibi who keeps Kenma’s attention. I hate to admit that I’m jealous, but Bokuto and Akaashi can tell easily. Hell, I’m pretty sure the whole team knows of my love for Kenma, but none of them want to say anything to him. 

It may or may not be because I threatened them with extra running before and after every practice if they pushed him, but that’s neither here nor there.

Kenma has taken to glaring at Tsukishima at every chance, and I frown, not sure why. Even Yaku has mentioned to me that Kenma seems to hate the Karasuno first year, but I haven’t been able to find a reason why. I wish it was because of jealousy, but I know it can’t be true. Kenma would tell me if he was jealous. Wouldn’t he?

~~~

By the last day of camp I’ve noticed Kenma glaring at Tsukishima more and more than usual, and I frown, not knowing how to take it. Akaashi confirms it’s jealousy, but of what kind? Is it just that he doesn’t like me having another friend that plays volleyball with him? Is it something more? I sigh, pilling my plate with extra vegetables for Kenma, and set off across the lawn to meet him by the gym.

As I walk towards him, I notice Tsukishima staring at me, but shrug it off and continue on to Kenma. I don’t care if the first year wants my attention. I only have eyes for Kenma. Who is currently ignoring me, hiding his face, and turning away from where I stand near Tsukishima as I walk across the lawn.

I smile, thinking that maybe, just maybe, Kenma might be starting to feel the same way about me that I do about him.

“Hey, Kitten.” I call out, a big smile on my lips, ignoring the shocked gasps and stares from the players around us. Kenma’s face and ears are a gorgeous shade of pink that makes me want to kiss all over his face.

I see out of the corner of my eye Tsukishima’s frown, and Kenma’s satisfied smirk sent towards Tsukishima as he turns towards me.

“Hey, Kuro.”

I want to laugh as I see the look of pure hatred and smugness sent to Tsukishima, but I settle on feeding Kenma some vegetables instead, trying to force back the slight blush in my cheeks as I watch his jaw work. 

Even if I can’t confess just yet, I know that it’s not a lost cause. For once, I have real hope that I won’t spend the rest of my life wanting something Kenma could never give me.

5.

**KENMA POV**

Kuro got his results back for his entrance exams, and I want to cry. He has so many choices, so many acceptance letters, so many great schools. The closest one is an hour away by train, a college I could get into as well, a place where I could stay by his side. The furthest one away is all the way in another country, and I want to scream. I want to scream and rage and tell him not to go, but instead I just listen to him while I squeeze my controller so hard I hear the plastic crack in my hands as I fight back the tears.

I don’t cry in front of him. Instead, I wait until he goes home, because Kuro doesn’t need to deal with my emotions.

Kuro doesn’t need to know that I finally realized that I’ve been in love with him all of this time.

Kuro doesn't need to know that the thought of him leaving this time cuts so much deeper than all the other times we’ve been separated, because I finally know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

How am I supposed to tell my best friend of 10 years that I’m in love with him?

“Kenma?” My mom calls from the doorway, her eyes soft, and I nod at her to come in. Kuro has just left, headed home to go for a run to clear his head. “Sweetie, do you want to talk?”

“Mom,” I start, tears in my eyes, and I want to scream, but I don’t. I just sit there on the ground, cracked plastic in my hand, and spit it out all at once. “I’m in love with Kuro, and I think I’ve always been in love with Kuro, and I don’t know what to do.”

“I know, baby. I know.” She soothes, and her arms are around me and holding me and I want to cry even harder, because it’s usually Kuro who holds me like this. It’s usually Kuro reassuring me and protecting me and holding me together when I feel like everything is falling apart. “Kenma, are you going to tell Tetsuro-kun how you feel?”

“I-” I start, my voice cracking, and I shake my head. I can’t tell him how I feel. I can’t tell him I love him and never want him to leave me and to go to a school closer to me just so we can stay together forever. Kuroo has so many options, his life could go so many places, and so many people love him. He could have anyone he wanted. Why would he want to keep me?

I don’t know how long we sit together, me crying and my mother holding me, but it feels like an eternity before she leaves me alone in my room and I just break down even harder once I’m alone.

“Tetsuro-kun, I don’t think now is a good time to bother Kenma, dear.” I hear my mother explain in the hallway outside of my room, and I choke on more tears, trying to hide my face. If I hide hard enough, maybe it will all just go away.

“What do you mean, Okaa-san?” I can almost hear the frown in Kuro’s voice. “I have to tell him the good news! I told him I would tell him as soon as I made my decision on where I want to go to college!”

Kuro’s voice is getting closer and closer, and I’ve never been so scared to hear words come out of my best friend’s mouth as I am right now.

“He’s a little overwhelmed right now, Tetsuro-kun.” My mother explains, and I just wish Kuro would leave. I don’t think I can handle seeing him right now. I don’t think I can handle having his arms around me, holding me together, right before he tears me apart. I know he has to go away for college, that it’s the best option for him, but it still hurts so bad.

“KENMA!” I hear his voice shout through the door, hear the handle turn. “I accepted the university just an hour away from us! You can take the train up on the weekends, or I can take it back here! And it has a great computer science program, so you can go, too!”

“Really?” I ask, throat thick with tears, and Kuro stops dead in front of my bed, looking down at me with an unreadable expression.

“Really. I told you, Kitten, I’m never going to leave you behind. I’ll always wait for you.”

I don’t think twice. I launch myself into his open arms, shoving my face into his chest, soaking his shirt in my tears. He doesn’t seem to mind, petting my head and trying to get me to calm down.

“You okay, Kitten?” He whispers.

I love you. I’m in love with you. I think I always have been.

I open my mouth to tell him the truth, wanting to tell him everything, but I can’t.

“I am now.” Is what I settle on instead, sniffling into his chest, just content to be this close to him.

As we lay down in my bed to sleep later that night, I vow to myself that I’ll tell him the truth. I’ll tell him at his graduation, right before he leaves. I know it’s a coward’s move, but I don’t want to ruin the last weeks we have this close together. I don’t want to ruin the last few weeks I have him all to myself.

**TETSURO POV**

“Tetsuro-kun, I don’t think now is a good time to bother Kenma, dear.” I frown at Kenma’s mom, confused. I was just here not that long ago, I was just talking to Kenma about my choices for college. What happened in the time it took me to tell my dad my choice for college, send the acceptance email, and take my evening run?

“What do you mean, Okaa-san? I have to tell him the good news! I told him I would tell him as soon as I made my decision on where I want to go to college!”

I walk past her easily, as she doesn’t make a single move to stop me. I’m standing just outside the door to Kenma’s room by the time she replies back.

“He’s a little overwhelmed right now, Tetsuro-kun.”

I wave her off with a smile, stopping in front of Kenma’s door to plaster a bright smile on my face, only slightly worried about Kenma’s response.

“KENMA!” I yell through the door as I turn the door, walking into his room. “I accepted the university just an hour away from us! You can take the train up on the weekends, or I can take it back here! And it has a great computer science program, so you can go, too!”

“Really?” He asks, his eyes wet, his throat tight and full of tears. I look down at him, carefully rearranging my face to hide all expression. I can’t handle it when he cries. I hate it when he cries. I hate it when he cries over me. I must be the worst human being on the planet and the worst friend ever. I always make Kenma cry.

“Really. I told you, Kitten, I’m never going to leave you behind. I’ll always wait for you.”

It’s not the words I really want to say, but they work well enough for now. Just a few weeks now. Just a few more weeks, and I’ll finally confess. 

“You okay, Kitten?” I whisper into his hair after a few minutes, wanting to hear his voice, but not wanting to push him too far.

“I am now.” Comes from his voice, his face pressed into my chest, my shirt wet with his tears, and I’ve never been so content and so hurt at the same time. It’s torture, being best friends with Kenma. He doesn’t love me, I know he doesn’t, but I do. I love him more than anything, and I’ll do anything for him, and holding him this close to me is the sweetest torture.

I fall asleep in bed next to him, holding him tight to my chest, and convince myself to just relax. Just a few more weeks of torture. Just a few more weeks. Then I can tell him the truth. 

Kenma puts his head on my chest, and I wrap an arm around his shoulders, and he sighs out a breath as he stretches out along my side. I fight my body’s reaction to him, holding back the groan that wants to rip through my throat. I fight the urge to kiss him and tell him the truth.

Suddenly, a few more weeks doesn’t seem long enough, and yet, like an eternity.

+1. Graduation

**KENMA POV**

It’s time. It’s finally time to tell Kuro the truth. I sit between my mother and Kuro’s father and I’m holding onto my gift to him. I’ve hidden it from him for the past two weeks since I bought it. I found a cute little cat charm that looks similar enough to me that it will remind him of me, holding a red heart in its paws. 

Kuro is taking his diploma, and he’s smiling so bright, and his teeth are so white and his eyes are squinting and his hair is just as horrible as it always is and I’ve never been so in love with another person and I never will be.

I’m holding the stupid key chain so tight in my hand I have to force myself to stop squeezing because I’m scared I might break it.

The ceremony is over in a blink, and in another blink, Kuro is standing in front of me.

Blink.

He’s hugging his dad.

Blink.

He’s hugging my mom, smiling really bright, laughing at a joke.

Blink.

He’s standing in front of me, holding a hand out towards me, his hand closed around something.

“Kenma,” I take a breath, looking up at his golden eyes, and he’s staring back at me just as intently. “I have something for you.”

“It’s your graduation, Kuro. You’re supposed to be taking a gift from me instead.”

“Did you get me something?” Kuro asks, his eyes crinkling, his lips turning up in his signature teasing smirk.

“Yes.”

I hold out the keychain in my hand, watch the smirk fall off his face, watch his eyes go wide, watch his lips drop open, watch him open his hand to show me what he got for me.

It’s his second button.

“Kuro, is that…” I trail off, tears prickling in my eyes, and he tears his eyes away from the small keychain in my hand to look at me.

“My second button.” His voice is tight, and he keeps looking between my gift and my eyes, searching for something that I can’t believe he ever missed. Something I can’t believe I couldn’t read on him.

“I got this for you, for your new keys, so you won’t forget me.” I confess, looking down, not wanting to start crying.

“Kenma…” He trails off, tilting my chin up to look at him. “Kenma, you know what this means, don’t you?”

He looks so hopeful, so in love, I can’t help but smile in response.

“Don’t leave me behind, Kuro.” I whisper, taking the button out of his hand, putting the key chain in its place.

“I told you. I’ll always wait for you, Kitten. I love you.”

His voice cracks, but god, his voice has never sounded so sweet.

“I love you, too, Kuro.”

And I’m in his arms, and he’s laughing, swinging me around, and everyone is staring at us, but I don’t even care. Kuro sets me down, takes my face in his hands, and he’s kissing me, and everything is right in the world. Kuro loves me, and he’s not leaving me behind. Kuro won’t ever leave me behind.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments appreciated! Ideas appreciated! Might continue on, but I don't know what I'm doing so someone tell me what to do!
> 
> Do take requests if anyone has any! - etherrealowl@gmail.com


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